This is a continuation of this post. Enjoy!
In honor of Mothers Day I thought I’d share this tribute to my mom and something that she has taught me about being a mother….
How about thirteen? I’m going through this right now with my fourth son. At this age they can be reasoned with a little. They are still in the process of learning the subtle shades of gray that are in our lives. My son still sees everything in black and white, good and bad. I know from experience that that will be changing in the next year or so. It really helps to talk about it. When kids are younger, they wear you our physically. As they get older, they wear you out emotionally! I find I am constantly talking, reasoning, listening and doing it all over again. And I wouldn’t have it any other way! I’m so grateful it is ME they are doing this with, rather than just their friends. Just today I was talking to him about an assignment I gave him. He thought of it as a punishment. I was able to explain to him what I wanted him to learn from the assignment and why it was important. I explained that I was having him do this assignment so that he would have a better life, and, because I love him, that is what I want for him. When he first sat down to talk to me, he had a frown on his face and his whole demeanor was one of confrontation. That gradually changed to a much more positive expression! By the end of our talk he walked away knowing what was important and that he was loved.
At seventeen, they need the same thing. They need to know what is important and that they are loved. If you help your child understand what is expected of them and why, becoming an adult is a natural progression. My oldest son just turned 18. I’ve been talking to him constantly. Because I’ve taken my mother’s advice, he has been raised to know that he can come to me and I will help him through this transition just as I did the others. He also knows that he now has other people to help. He has mentors that are helping him reach his goals. He knows that he doesn’t have to always agree with me or his mentors. We let him know that his ideas and opinions have merit and he needs to listen to his intuition, but, if he needs us, we are there. Just this week he was talking to me about how he was concerned about food costs while he is at college. I had the opportunity to take him to a store and show him some tips on shopping. He has been taking cooking classes (with me) for this entire school year so he knows how to cook. He just needed to know how to buy it. Something as simple as showing him how to shop, is helping him transition to adulthood.
Raising kids is hard work. My mom always told me that it was the MOST important job in the world and I can’t agree more. What other job can influence the future more? I am so grateful that my mom shared her wisdom with me. It helped me transition successfully from a mom of babies to a mom of young men. And looking back at my life, I can’t think of a harder, or more fulfilling, transition that I’ve gone through.